jibun wo shinjite

tired. but was i pushing myself enough? i dun't think so.

i thought i was immune to it. bt apparently it's not. however, there was a change of degree. seeing how sad she was by a mere 3 pts, it makes me feel guilty.maybe my escape-ism skills had improved. oh well.

the thing thst always never fail to impress me is reality. reality is cruel even if i dun't want to believe it. sometimes i wish that i wasn't here.

got alot things i want to write but i dun't know who to put it across and i'm no longer in the mood to try blog it nw. till then.

SHUTS. UP.

arghh............

i like non-aircon bus when taking long bus ride where the wind blows and it feels great to be sitting next to the opened windows.

But i hardly take bus rides anymore. now, it's all mrts..

but i hope that non-aircon bus will still exist. =D

Green Hope- Stephen Fung. it's a theme song for the hk drama - xing xian ren, i've watch during pri3/4. Was searching for it for such a long time coz i can't remember the drama tittle, finally was able to find it and dl e song . it's soo nice lah, bt it's in canto. so can only read the chinses subtittle to understand the lyrics so can only enjoy the melody while listening. (bt can't transfer to hp to listen, dun't knw y,.. oh well.) like it so much since i've watch it , both the drama and the song.It a drama that entails the struggles of those inflicted with mental illnesses and the ordeals of their family and friends. as u watch it, it makes u think. thus i like it. as in meaningful and touching dramas=D

tooth-ed fairy=D

saw this while blog-hopping.quite true .

2010.  I've been thinking and reflecting for a long time. However there's no answers to them... hmmm...  hopefully there'll be answers sooner or later.  

term 3 had passed really fast. it was overall a new experience. bt i've become even more non-vocal ler... saded..

last thursday finally get to msn with wenna during break time... she's always not online when i'm online=(... haha... which explains my excitment.. lol.. k. Jiayou my psychic gal, tmr's ur last paper then dun't need to study for at least dunno how many months ler... HAHA.... let's meet up soon = after my mst k =D

MST coming.... in 2 weeks time... freaking out now. with RWPS survey not done yet... Oh MY GOODNESS!!!!... inhale exhale inhale exhale.... i can do it de.... oh my my.....

k. time to go do whatever things that need to be done and not to watse time ler.... time is PRECIOUS!=D

Last week was fun. as in after school time. lol. it's nice chatting with friends freely =D. helped out here and there cause i felt that was what i should do since i din't contribute much. anniversary can and went. yeah! one more done. heehee. the cake's nice, food's great and the company was fabulous!. i think the picture of us as 9 is very very cool. pictures for memory sake please...
o these whole week was like eating out the whole time. broke. but in exchange i knw where got nice foods.. haha...
watched 2012 with class on tuesday during e 5 hr break. din knw we all so on. the movie was super nice. teared. bt some part quite fake. movie ended late coz we went gv and was late for rwps for like almost half an hour. seriously aiyoyo. coz class even ended half an hour early... lol.. nice experience though.

being chiong-ing tutorials, mentoring stuffs and lots of thinking. it's funny how long/short 1 week can be with so many events and stories in it. bt it got me thinking and worried. all i want to say is a big big thank you to my friends who helped me so much- letting me be myself and able to really pour out what i'm thinking=D also as of yesterday, i'm so proud of my friend who has matured alot in her thinking regarding issues althought it seems lyk the 2 of us the words not as powerful as mo mo ren loh.. bleh... haha..Jiayou jiayou. dun't let ur thoughts run wild arh....
opinions froms others and one's own feelings are very useful, it can even make a person make his/her decisions based on that.there's no right or wrong in certain situation. it's more of a how and when u make a move to react to the situation to acheive the minimal/maximum desired result. agree?

it's been 1 year. personally i feel weird abt it coz as one, we din really did alot of stuffs together. it's quite segregated. bt thinking back i think it's the quality and nt quantity that matters right? sounds cliche bt true. oh well.. struggle for a while more and enjoy e company bah=D

cf project. new group. new topic to touch on with no background at all. somehow, i feel guilty for not contributing much. my aplogies. bt through this it really make me feel that i've made a correct choice for elective. oh well, u may say that i'm just escaping from reality, bt whatever, i dun't want to drag anybody down and i also dun't want to toture myself.

hmmm, since this sem starts, haven been going home with complete clique. one of us will be busy at a certain time yeah. recently it was me. sorry yeah, taking train together and staying back after classes and all the minor minor stuffs. i know that for the first few weeks i'm super quiet (where in e first place i'm quiet ler =x). i'm just plain lazy and at tht point of time dun't lyk to talk abt all the uncertainty and worries that i think of inside my limited capacity brain. HOWEVER, frm tmr onwards, i'll be free ler. kk . wont bang seh k. bt then leh, mst coming ler. which equals to mugging and chionging coz e time table for this mst is super chap ba lang one. 2.30, 3.00,9.00, 10.30, 9.00. somthing lyk tht. and there's even venue lyk 2261/2 which i dun't lyk coz it feels lyk having tutorial/camp lyk tht. dun't lyk.

A level friends ending exams soon.. yeah.. can meet up soon. bt after mst. so sianz lah... o o yah, have to thank JIA YU for looking out and emailing me details of tem. job. appreciated it alot althought i can't apply coz it's during my exam.=(... lang fei ni de hao yi. so sorry. bt thanks yah=D...

k . time to have a few hours of sleep before doing cf ler. and maybe watch abit of jdrama... haha... and as usual, my post refects my thoughts. messy and unorganize. bits and pieces here and there. oh well, wht's new?

i had a great weekend. slack at home, watch 'tokyo dogs', read 'the firm', went to watch 'my sister keeper'- nice, slack again. and slept super early. 9. wonderful. and my weekends are gone. good thing is i dun't feel so sianz and i'm taking notes faithfully today. bt i haven touch all my tutorials... oh no oh no.

on the other hand, i get to see my friend/senior properly ever since dunno when. the last time i rmb seeing u properly when i'm sec 3 on my birthday and when u came back sec. in jj uni. how sad right? coz i rmb in between we got see each other de,. during concert i think. bt somehow dint register in me... it's nice see u again and to chat with u over lunch before ur interview. hope the interview's a success **crossfingers** =D nxt tym we meet again for lyk half a day or something k .. lol. then back to sch, or rather club-bing arh.., quite fun doing painting. it's been a while. haha... oh yah, went to check out for mst tt bt dun't have. saw 09/10 Sem1 honours roll instead. seriously, so many are in honours roll lah.... envy envy... and also motivate me to study harder.... yes yes, i'll do tht.=D after anniversary, it's time to hit the books.. discipline,integrity,responsibility, respect, resilence,compassion, pride in work & teamwork. haha

apparently, i'm still here. just to get some thoughts off from my small brian. why is it possible that a friend that u knw can treat u lyk almost non-existence bt is not to ur friend? it's juz weird and funny. i dunno wht to say abt it.imagine 10 years, no 5 years down the road, u meet ur friend on the road. when u greet him/her, u'r being ignored. how will u feel? sad? puzzles? and wht if this situation happens just within a year? how will u feel? how will u react? is it true that through some events, it's able to allow u to know ur friends better? bt is it also true tht once events' over, everything's back to square one, back to status quo - not knowing each other? i have no definate answer.
i find that i've been drifting ever since sch starts. and also i miss my friends alot. friends that i can be free from worries cause we'r of a slightly different route nw. oh well, nostagical moments coming in ,....

audit test's tmr. and am not prepared.=(
camp's over. am really really glad. it made me realise alot of stuffs. certain things can't be taken for granted. and the saying of everybody plays a part. even if it's a small role, it's still significant. it's so true. surprise, thankful, greatful, worried, guilty and back to thankful and e cycle repeats... juz got to say, jiayou everyone.=D thing left to do is appreciation. e... i'm nt good with these kind of stuffs. anniversary's coming.. o my goodness.. so fast. 1 year since i started to be active huh. . time flies.
erm, everyone are somewhat competitive. it's just the degree of competitiveness i guess. how well.
it's stressful bt i'll be able to manage it. i do admit tht i'm not good in my studies bt at least my eq's nt tht bad and i'm doing things with my consicious ( liang xin). maybe, really haven found my studying method. how how how??
the story of bottle+stone+marbles+sand is interesting. i want to get that right. bt not at the expends of hurting ppl tht i knw and lossing myself along the way. too halo/ saint ler right?well, wish right? hmm, whatever that i've stated for studies during the holiday's are all buang arh... never follow never do them faithfully arh... aiyoyo.... after tmr after tmr.... it's a promise. after all i can't stand it being lost in tutorials and when i can't answer questions. it's a me thing lah. if u get it good, if u can't, i also dunno how to explain ler... oO... i realise tht i MISSED choir concert on sunday... sorry sorry, it was unintentional, was mentally too tired after camp... argh... damn sad lah... i hope nothing change anot there won't be a purpose anymore... oh no no...
hmm 9.40+ ler, tiime to accompany with audit ler..=(

lost.

if i had been more firm. oh well.

everchanging.

i don't lyk to make decisions. especially with things that i have no interest/ dun;t like at all...

oh myyyyyy..